random musings

Been forever...

2012-01-17T06:07:00.001-08:00

Almost forgot about this place myself.
Think no one's reading this anymore.....

Perfect.

Starting to feel the strain again.
The strain of not knowing myself.

Usually it's drowned out by being engaged in life.
Yet somehow it's leaking through again.

Sucks.

The Time Traveler's Wife

2011-07-01T09:54:00.000-07:00

Above title is the title of a book I've first read in army camp.
Borrowed it from a friend because I was absolutely bored in there.

Found this book again in a second-hand bookstore in Phuket and bought it on a whim.

Re-read it and found it still beautiful, despite it being the second time I've read it.

Awesome love story, awesome fantasy storyline.
You guys should go check it out.

The Time Traveler's Wife -- Audrey Niffenegger

~

'A beautiful love story is only beautiful, cause it doesn't happen in real life' - Me

Just wanted to say....

2011-04-19T06:57:00.001-07:00

... I love you all. =)

Moderation

2011-04-04T07:29:00.000-07:00

The past defines us.
Yet living in the past cripples us.

The present shapes us.
Yet enjoying too much at present sets you up for defeat.

The future elevates us.
Yet worrying too much about the future hinders us.

Everything in moderation.

It's been too long

2011-04-03T07:53:00.000-07:00

Time passes by quickly.
Yet, agonizingly slowly.

Don't you sometimes wish to know what happens in your own future?
Yet, at the same time,
dread how quickly time passes?

Human lives are so fragile,
yet, how strong we are.
We live on,
fully well knowing how short our existance is.

People say that since our lives are so short,
we should fully treasure it.
Do the things we want to do,
achieve what we can and leave our marks.

It's all for naught.

Yet live on I will.
Cause humans are curious.

And I'm curious where this road leads.

2010-09-08T04:38:00.000-07:00

wo yi zhi zai xiang,
wo zhen de shi yi ge hen mei you yong de ren.

dong xi zuo bu hao,
shuo hua ye bu ling li.

mei you ren he guo ren ji chu,
ren ye zhang de bu hao kan.
mei qian mei shi li.

wo yi dian you dian dou mei you,
huo zhe ye mei you yi yi,
lang fei zhi yuan.

`
no chinese typing program.
if you can finish reading this means you are too bored.

2010-09-04T08:53:00.000-07:00

Why - Ayaka

Hitomi no oku ga boyake te mie nai
kokoro no soko no kimochi wa aru no ?
Sekai no subete wo te ni shi ta toshite mo
S ore ga anata no shiawase na no ?

Why kodoku na sora wo miageru no ?
Why waratte mise te yo

Kotoba ni suru no ga heta na
Anata no seikaku wakaru kara

Tooi mukashi ni nani ga atta no ?
Shisen wo sorasu anata no hitomi ni

Hitori de samishii yoru ni dakishime rareru
Sonna atataka sa shitteru ?

Why doushite katachi ni kodawaru no ?
Why kokoro wo hirai te
Ookina nimotsu wo seotta
Anata wo ukeire rareru chikara
Aru wa shinji te mi te ?
Ohh..Yeaahh

Jiyuu na hito wa bukiyou de ?
J iyuu na hito wa fuan de ?

Why kodoku na sora wo miageru no ?
Why waratte mise te yo
Kotoba ni suru no ga heta na
Anata no seikaku wakaru kara
Shinji te mi te

---
From Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core. Still one of the best games I've ever played on the PSP. The meaning of the song is... well, meaningful too.

2010-08-24T07:39:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered...
how do people look at you?
How do people perceive the world as?

Ever wished to look through someone else's eyes,
and think what they are thinking?

I know I have,
and I believe everyone has this thought crossing their minds
at least once in their lives.

Or maybe it's just me.

I always wondered,
what do people see.
What do people see of me,
to be exact.

I admit it,
I'm too affected by my perception of people's perception of me.
If that made sense.

So you'll find me adjusting myself to fit into the crowd.
Probably why I don't have too much of a personality of my own.
All those little actions,
catchphrases,
probably came from someone else through osmosis.

I know it myself.
Yet, that's my personality (ironically).

But my perception of other people's perception,
is probably not accurate.
Cause I'm a natural pessimist.
I tend to think the worse of myself,
and expect people to be thinking the same.

So how do YOU look at me?
What kind of a person do YOU think I am?

Wish I could look through your eyes.

Tapestry of Life

2010-08-10T04:53:00.000-07:00

Humans,
as a whole representing a sentient species.
Yet alone,
we are merely specks or lesser
in the tapestry called life.

Humans are alike threads,
individually making up a whole.
Woven and interwoven to create.

In a lifetime,
threads might meet,
cross,
and never to meet ever again.

Others might be so tightly interwoven,
that only at the fraying end shall they be apart.

Yet others might just run parallel,
each on its on path to the future,
never to interact.

Onwards shall the threads run till its end.
No matter colourful a fabric,
there will be the edge,
and a ending to the threads.

How colourful the resultant fabric or tapestry,
will depend on much it interweaves with the other threads,
and how strongly they are all bonded together.
Only together shall a beautiful piece of art be created.
Never alone.

Amazing how a piece of fabric and the threads in it mirrors life.

2010-08-09T07:25:00.000-07:00

I know I don't post much.
Well, I guess there's not as much to say now than before.
It's not that my life has not much happening.
Just that I don't know what to share.

Well, just to get something to post.

The other day something really funny happened.
I was on a crowded bus (standing),
and facing me was a indian guy and a chinese guy.
The chinese guy is not part of the whole story though lol.

The indian guy looks pretty normal,
until he suddenly spoke. Loudly. To no one.

He started saying random stuff like,
"I thought Singaporeans are very kind."
*Pause* *stares and looks around normally*
"They say Singaporeans always first to help out other countries when they are in trouble"
*Pause and act normal again*

*longer pause*

*Says some other random stuff*

And here I was, resolutely looking outside the window.
Trying hard not to shake my head nor laugh at the obviously unhinged guy.

Than, the crowd in the bus moved forward and a guy with yellow shirt came to my side (the front of the indian guy).

Immediately the indian guy goes,
"They say yellow is the colour of evil".

I TRIED SO HARD NOT TO LAUGH.

Maybe you guys can't see why I wanted to laugh,
but at that moment it was pretty hard to bear.
LoL at the colour of evil. ><

Maybe with so much free time I should really pursue the flitting thought of writing a novel that I keep having.

But I'm lazy. ><

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Desire.
Uncertainty.
Regrets.

Vicious, this is.

2010-06-27T05:52:00.000-07:00

I'm finally out of there,
even if I'll probably still be in that camp.
Doing what?
I don't know. Admin stuff?

In any case.
FINALLY. lol.

Crap central

2010-05-28T04:06:00.000-07:00

Had the most crappy week.
Long weekend? Bah.
I've got to be back on a Saturday MORNING (6AM),
to do what??

MARSHELLING FOR IPPT.

Great, thanks for calling me to go back to camp
ALLLLLLL the way from the WEST to the EAST.
All for a couple of hours of waving a damn flag.
I swear I'll let the cars bang onto the runners.

Had some trouble during the week too.
Long story short,
shit didn't go as I hoped it would.
Now the shit just multiplied and refuses to be washed off my body.

God damned elitists.
God damned Commandos.

Thanks for rubbing it in my face that I am weaker than the rest.
And THANKS for not letting me off and insist on my remaining to watch me suffer more.

I'm 'invisible'?
Than fucking let me OFF!
If I'm 'invisible' cause of my physical weakness,
than don't keep me here for stupid things like MARSHELLING.

God damn shitheads.
Arrogant,
egoistic,
sadistic sonofa-bitches.

When you find a OC saying that one of his men is 'invisible' to him,
just cause he doesn't meet up to the standards,
you know something is wrong with the system.
*applauds the SAF*

Gah. I don't really care if this post gets out and MSD checks up on me.
Or charges me.
I'm past caring all that.
And I frankly don't think that I'm in any wrong at all.

Whatever. One more year.
One more year of this crap.
Unless I get lucky somewhere.
And get knocked down by a car or something.

Gah.

2010-05-09T03:12:00.000-07:00

Looking out at the pouring rain invokes lots of thoughts.
Lots of memories.

I start wondering.
How life would be like,
10,
20 years from now.

Would I still be around?
What would life be like then?
Would I still be sitting around in front of my computer,
like the useless bum I am now?

I just want a simple life,
yet life is never simple.
I wish to escape,
yet there are too many things tying me down.

Striving not to strive.
Yearning not to yearn.
Hoping not to hope.
Wanting not to want.

2010-05-02T04:36:00.000-07:00

Love is blind,
yet illuminating.

Love is consuming,
yet fulfilling.

Love is encompassing,
yet exclusive.

Love is invisible,
yet tangible.

Ironically conflicting.
Yet it's part and parcel of life.
People can't live without it.
Yet some die because of it.

I've yet to find true love.
But when I do,
hopefully it'll be a positive one.

Army is really taking a toil on me.
I don't know why.
It's not supposed to.
But it does.

Annoying.

2010-03-27T06:31:00.000-07:00

Hmm, seems like this is always what ends up with this place.
Abandoned like a unwanted pet.
I guess it's just not like in the past anymore.
There were more things to say,
express,
think about.
Now, all I seem to do most of the time,
is whine.
God, I'm such a whiner.

Maybe I should whine less IRL,
and do it more here.
It'll irritate less people.

2009-12-25T09:40:00.000-08:00

Got past the 3 jumps (relatively) safely.
Was quite a good experience, albeit scary.
At least I got the experience, if I so happen to really get kicked out.

~

I guess I just need some company.
It's getting too lonely.
It's getting to a point whereby I can't distinguish my feelings anymore.

I don't trust my feelings any longer.

It sucks.

2009-12-20T03:45:00.000-08:00

It all boils down to this.
Everything was for this Tuesday.

LIVE DESCENT.

The ultimate 'goal' in Airborne Course.
To jump from 1000 feet with a parachute.

Am I scared?
You bet'cha.
Scared outta my wits.
Whenever I imagine the scene of standing at the jump ramp,
looking down at the oh-so-small buildings.
I start feeling cold sweat form up.

I need to be calm.
I have to be.
I want to be.........
.... BUT I CAN'T *goes into hysterics*

A New Start

2009-11-14T03:30:00.000-08:00

Got my old blog deleted and made this new one (though under the same address).
Lots of memories in the form of past posts on that one.
Suddenly just felt like...
I should start again.
Past regrets, past anguish,
and all the nitty gritty stuff I was (at that point) worried about,
now seem so insignificant.
Don't wish to remember them,
nor be reminded of my stupidity and foolishness.
Thus the purge.

Well in any case, in case anyone was wondering (or reading in the first place).
No I didn't go Taiwan for the training trip. (*sad face*)
Didn't get chosen.
So now I'm just staying behind to do the *sai gang* (direct translation: shit work).
Yawnage. But I guess that's army >.>

Well, since I don't have a tagboard up here,
any comments or people who want to chat,
can 'ring' me up on MSN.
I would appreciate having someone to talk to in any case.